My Spouse Should Make Me Happy

How Not to Fill the Gaps in Your Life

It’s almost the same kind of mistake as having a baby to repair a broken relationship. Many people wrongly believe their intimate relationship is supposed to heal their troubles, solve their personal problems, and bring purpose back to their lives.

Spouse Should Make Me Happy

In other words, they expect their partner to fill the gaps in their life. They even marry for that reason. What a terrible mistake!

This is like signing a contract to permanent frustration and unhappiness in life, just like the rest of the most dangerous marriage myths.

When we choose our partner and spouse based on this kind of expectations, it inevitably ends in silent resentment towards the very same beloved person, because s/he was not able to give us what we wanted and expected.

Your spouse isn’t there to save you from anything, and you should stop thinking that way immediately. It is not your life mate’s job to make you happy. Fixing your life is not their job. That is your job. Never, never seek another person to bring order into your life.

What you should really do, though, is take control of your life in your hands.  Only once you have done this, are you able to contribute something to your relationship.

It works the other way around too.

Don’t go into a relationship to fix someone or solve someone else’s problems.

Instead, find someone you can work with in building your life together, having fun together, growing together, and helping each other. Sure, along the way you will (and you should) offer help, encouragement, and give support. So will your partner to you.

But ultimately, each person is responsible for their own happiness.

A good way to start is by getting rid of this and other false expectations that can ruin your relationship.

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