How to Know if You Are With the Perfect Partner

Is the Grass Greener on the Other Side?

Even the most die-hard lovers eventually discover that their loved one is not “perfect” after all. For some, this represents major frustration.

Grass Not Greener on the Other side

For others, this is a reason to start contemplating a way out. Here’s the thing. You can look for the perfect person your whole life, but this will only make you permanently unhappy.

Here’s why.

A Never-ending Search

After the courtship period is over and people realize their partner is not whom they thought they were, they sometimes feel betrayed and confused.

The darker side of their mate shows up.

Many couples have a hard time grasping the fact that they live with another person. So they start “changing” that person to fit their idealized image of the perfect partner. As they realize this doesn’t work (it never does), they figure it’s just bad luck.

They think they married the wrong person.

So they move on, believing things will be completely different with someone else. But, somehow, they end up in a relationship with exactly the same kind of a person they left or divorced only a short time ago.

All the same relationship challenges occur, and the only thing that has changed is the person they are with. Many people spend a good portion of their lives moving from one relationship to another, looking for someone who’s finally going to match the image of a “perfect mate” in their head.

That doesn’t sound like a good plan to me.

That being said, I’m not implying you should marry just anyone on the street and then make the best of it.

The person you fell in love with, you fell in love for a reason. From there on, you just have to accept that your partner is not perfect, and never will be. Same as you. Enjoy the qualities of your partner that you love and admire, and accept those you don’t.

So the sooner we stop dreaming about having a perfect partner, a fairy-tale relationship with no conflicts, and having eternal loving feelings like when we first met, the better.

How to Resist the Grass Is Greener Elsewhere Myth

Successful couples have learned to love each other’s strengths, but they have also learned to love the weaknesses, as well.

They begin solving problems by asking themselves, “What can I do to change things for the better?” Pay attention to the tiny one-letter word in the question. That’s the key.

Instead of trying to change your partner to fit the mold, take the lead and change first. The beauty is, your partner will follow. It might not happen immediately, but they will.

They always do.

By focusing on being the best partner you can be, instead of on changing your spouse, you actually begin to create the change you need.

Otherwise, you could give up too soon on something that could be really special.

So, Are You With the Perfect Partner?


Because no such partner exists.

But you probably already have a perfect partner for YOU. It’s just that they may not have developed their full potential yet.

And this is where you come in. The best way to help your spouse develop their potential is to show them by example and not words alone.

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8 thoughts on “How to Know if You Are With the Perfect Partner

  1. This is an article that could probably save some marriages if both parties would take heed and follow the advice given. Thank you for publishing this document!

    • Thank you Mary Ann. For the rest of us this falls into the “I should have known this a long time ago” category. Have a great day! Marko

  2. …I think you may have just saved my marriage, it’s been a very long and hard year in the world, and be it stress, anxiety, or frustration with everything, I have found my mind wandering… right away from my spouse. I’m getting out my watering can!! Thank You!!!

  3. This is True Don and are Perfect for each other. Perfect Mr and Mrs. and PROUD of it Marriage is and was our real career.
    We just celebrated our 50th Wedding Anniversary. Whew have we worked hard during situations that others threw their marriage away like it was NOTHING! Way too many challenges to write here. Here is an ideal about what we stayed together through Don retired from a full 24 1/2 years in the USAF. I got out when I found out I was expecting. Here how it all began:
    WE met when I was 18 and he was 23 we both were in the USAF me a WAF A1C from Kentucky and he a SSGT with 4 years in and just reenlisted for 4 more and returned from Vietnam he ws from New Jersey. We met October 30th 1971 and my 19th birthday was Halloween, long story short I was engaged to another USAF Sgt at the time, thought I loved him. Then I met Don and we got married Dec 11, 1971 they told us it wouldn’t work. 50 years later we are now married 50 years and 2 months. Our marriage is based on True Love and we are still a work in PROGRESS. Debbie

    • Hey Debbie, wonderful story! Congratulations for your 50 year! That truly is an achievement. Thanks for sharing! Kind regards, Marko