Imagine the navigation system you have in your car or on your phone. If you put in an exact address, the device will lead you exactly where you want to go.
If you get lost or get off track, the system will recalculate and prepare a new route for you. So, while the goal or the target remains the same, because the conditions have changed, the plan has changed as well.
Let’s now imagine, while still using the same navigation device, you do not know where you want to go. Well, as we all know, even the best navigation device will not be able to help you.
My question is, “What did you put in your relationship’s navigation device? Do you even HAVE a desired destination?”
Most people have never been asked to contemplate the question “What do you hope to achieve in your life, and what kind of person do you want to be?”
We are used to thinking hard and planning our education, career, and perhaps buying our first home. Heck, we are able to spend countless hours on planning our next summer vacation! But I have met very few people in my life who have a plan for their life.
So, my wife recently told me I am husband version 4.0 her. She feels like she has a new husband. Wow!
I asked her who were the other three? This is what she said.
One of the main reasons that people don’t get what they want is because they don’t actually figure out what it is.
This sounds obvious, and it is. Still, not many people do it, including myself until a couple of years ago.
I started journaling five years ago. It became almost a ritual in its own right, because it changed my life in so many positive ways.
In my previous article I outlined numerous benefits of keeping a journal. This post is about a specific process and writing prompts that I use to lead my thoughts and keep things tidy and structured.
Here’s the key to a good relationship. Well, not the only one, but one of the keys. Kind of a low hanging fruit, if you want.
Watch your loved one carefully. Really carefully. What do I mean?
When my wife and I were in our deepest trouble, one of the “themes” was our relentless focus on the things that didn’t work.
I know all too well how horrible it feels when your life mate starts to see only things they don’t like. Things you screwed up (again). Sometimes it seems they are on a mission to prove that they are right (and you are wrong).
Sometimes it feels like your spouse is deliberately overlooking the overwhelming number of things that do work. The scary part is that even the most loving couples can get hung up on negative beliefs about each other pretty easily, without even noticing.