Thousands of years ago, some people in the tribe would go hunting for food while relying on someone else to watch over and protect their families.
They had to trust another human being while they were away. Without this they would all be hungry.
What do you think when you see a senior couple walking and holding hands? I think about love, connection, that invisible force that’s still holding them together. I don’t know about you, but I’d like to have that too, even when my wife and I are sitting in our rocking chairs together.
In this post, we’re going to talk about an often overlooked kind of physical affection. Many couples have almost dropped it out of their repertoire even though it’s one of the easiest ways to increase intimacy and help you feel safe, accepted, and appreciated.
In probably the most reliable survey ever done on divorce, by Joan Kelly, Ph.D. and Lynn Gigy, Ph.D from the Divorce Mediation project in Corte Madera, California, only 20% to 27% of couples said an extramarital affair was even partially to blame for their divorce.
In contrast, 73% to 80% of divorced men and women said their marriage broke up because they gradually grew apart and lost a sense of closeness, because they didn’t feel loved and appreciated.
Imagine you meet a friend from your youth whom you’ve lost touch with. It’s been years since you saw each other. Sure, it’s a nice surprise and you’re both pleased to meet.
But it feels a bit awkward, after so much time. It’s not the same anymore. There’s little to say aside from the usual “Do you have any kids?” or “Where do you work?”
The same thing happens to so many married couples. One day, they wake up and realize that the person lying next to them is a complete stranger.
A romantic relationships study by the Huffington Post and Reader’s Digest (“The Normal Bar,” 2011) looked at more than 100,000 people. It found that boredom was the leading reason couples gave for infidelity.
A full 71 percent of men and 49 percent of women who had affairs said they did so because they were bored. Boredom also leads spouses to try to escape dreary marriages in other dangerous ways, such as excessive drinking of alcohol, overeating, and pursuing hobbies outside the home (at the expense of family), to name just a few.
So, what can you do to avoid boredom in marriage?