Did you know that the determining factor in whether couples feel satisfied with the sex, romance, and passion in their marriage is 70% determined by the quality of their friendship with each other?
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But how do you know if your spouse is actually your friend?
What do you think when you see a senior couple walking and holding hands? I think about love, connection, that invisible force that’s still holding them together. I don’t know about you, but I’d like to have that too, even when my wife and I are sitting in our rocking chairs together.
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In this post, we’re going to talk about an often overlooked kind of physical affection. Many couples have almost dropped it out of their repertoire even though it’s one of the easiest ways to increase intimacy and help you feel safe, accepted, and appreciated.
Most of us are convinced that we are reasonably good listeners. However, when asked, many partners are unable to give an coherent summary of what their partner just said without missing half of the story.
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That’s because many of us are not even consciously aware that we have a tendency to plan what we are going to say next without actually listening to what is being said.
The facial muscles that make you smile when you laugh are coincidentally (or not!) neighboring the very part of the brain that is also responsible for the production of serotonin.
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Serotonin controls sleep, memory, learning, temperature and—you guessed it—mood and behavior.
Here comes a simple truth.
Imagine you meet a friend from your youth whom you’ve lost touch with. It’s been years since you saw each other. Sure, it’s a nice surprise and you’re both pleased to meet.
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But it feels a bit awkward, after so much time. It’s not the same anymore. There’s little to say aside from the usual “Do you have any kids?” or “Where do you work?”
The same thing happens to so many married couples. One day, they wake up and realize that the person lying next to them is a complete stranger.
What happened?
Have you ever met someone who just seemed to end your every thought with “but?” It starts to get annoying, right? It feels like nothing you say is valid, because they know better.
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It seems that in our society every other sentence contains the word ‘but’. The other person says something, and we soon follow with a big ‘but.’ Beware, though. ‘But’ is a little word with big consequences.
Successful couples love each other deeply, but they don’t rely on loving feelings to come naturally.
They create them.
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This post is about how you can reach out to your spouse and make them feel special, no matter how busy you are. In fact, you’ll be able to start right now (or right when your spouse gets home).
It’s no small feat, spending 18,000 days with another human being. And be able to do so happily? Marriage isn’t the honeymoon on a remote beach—it’s day five of vacation #19 that you take together.
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Marriage is not a celebration for buying your first house—it’s having dinner in that house for the 3,285th time. And it’s certainly not Valentine’s Day or a barbecue party for your birthday.
Marriage is Forgettable Tuesday. Together.
So I’ll leave the butterflies, the roses, your heartbeat chanting your loved one’s name, the kisses in the rain, and the three-times-a-day sex to you—you’ll work that part out, I’m sure.
This post is about the best way to make Forgettable Tuesday (and all others that follow) happy ones.