Imagine you want to talk with your spouse in the middle of a tornado. Debris is flying around, you are shouting, your spouse is shouting, the wind is roaring. You can’t hear each other. Nice setting to have a talk, right?

Now, imagine you decide to get out of the way of the tornado. You simply wait for it to pass. Then, you invite your spouse to sit with you on the porch, have a drink, and talk. Which way would you prefer? I mean, if you’re not an obsessive adrenaline junkie, the answer is clear. This post is about how to avoid getting to a point when all you hear is roaring and things get really nasty. That’s when feelings get hurt.