Thousands of years ago, some people in the tribe would go hunting for food while relying on someone else to watch over and protect their families.
They had to trust another human being while they were away. Without this they would all be hungry.
Trust is so important for mankind that we wouldn’t have survived as species if we hadn’t known the concept.
If Doesn’t Take Much To Corrupt Trust
It doesn’t take that much to corrupt a relationship so that it’s not really salvageable. Enough mistakes, infidelity (or a good enough reason to suspect it) and you’re done. It’s going to be an uphill battle to come back from that because the fundamental element of trust has been removed.
Once this happens, you can’t communicate with the person because you don’t know if they’re telling you the truth. You don’t know if you’re dealing with reality.
If You Want to Have a Relationship, Embed it Into Truth
Because if you don’t, you don’t have a relationship. Then it’s just a fragile tissue of lies and it will dissolve once a major crisis comes along. You need to be able to be vulnerable without fear that you’re going to be ‘attacked’ immediately (or some time down the road).
But also, you want to feel free to tell your spouse the truth even if it’s inconvenient. In order to do that, you need trust! A lot of it.
Trust is the Mother of Intimacy
So, how much do you trust your spouse? I invite you to answer these questions with a simple yes/no.
- We know how much the other earns
- We know each other’s values about finances and money
- My spouse knows my weaknesses and I know theirs
- My spouse knows something about my previous partners, and I know a bit about theirs
- We know about each other’s sexual fantasies
- Neither of us is jealous if the other one finds another person attractive
As you see, these simple questions require a healthy dose of honesty. If there are more negative than positive answers, then trust is your area to work on.
What to do if Trust is Broken
When trust is broken in a relationship, it can seem impossible to repair. But many couples have dealt with dishonesty—from financial problems to infidelity—and made it through to a happier, more honest place.
Some people buy gifts for their spouse that include vacations, or dinners out. Others buy investments in the future of their marriage. If you’d love to learn practical ways to repair or strengthen your trust, a new step-by-step program from my friends Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo, best selling authors and hosts of the world’s #1 marriage podcast, might be a good fit for you.